1 post tagged “me”
Typing in bed is a good thing, something I could get used to again. I say again because there once was a time that I had a large computer set up next to my bed. I was the worlds worst camgirl, or something like it. That old beast of a desktop computer had been paid for with a work bonus one year and still exists- at least in theory to this day. I called it 'my boyfriend', after all I spent most of my time with it. The fucker has been gutted and rebuilt more times than I can begin to count and no I never backed up the data. Each time I lost a little bit of my past, like ripping pages from a diary and tossing them into a fire. Memories slipped away as the words I once frantically wrote and pictures I constantly snapped faded into the nothingness of time.
About a year and a half ago that old computer died again... And while Todd worked on and eventually resurrected it again, he also got me a new computer. A smaller, daintier, and much cuter computer. It was a mac mini, and I called it 'my girlfriend'. Todd is a good man, he keeps me in gadgets. He bought me a macbook the other day for no real reason. 'The boyfriend' had ceased working again... the data possibly backed up by now or not, I couldn't remember. Todd came home from work with a new power supply and a lap top. And now here I am- back in bed with a computer. And yet, so much has changed.
With his right arm wrapped around me I'm almost pinned down, but I'm alright with that. I am comforted by the warmth and weight of his arm around me (it reminds me of wearing a lead blanket while getting xrays, I always loved the substantialness of the lead blanket). It's only when laying here later, staring up at the ceiling wishing for sleep when a cat climbs onto my feet and further pins me that I begin to feel claustrophobia setting in. The nor'easter continues to rain down upon us, the water still beating against the old windows. I sometimes begin to remember the people I once was but I tried so hard even then to forget that it worked pretty well.
