six months

As it turns out, time flies when you're not miserable and bored and trolling the internet regularly for your entertainment.  Weird, right? I know. I thought the same thing. But it must be true. I can't just make brash statements up and say they're true. Well, I guess I could, but whatever. For me time has flown these past 6 months.

I'm still content in my new job. It's way easy, the money's good, and hey, I get free medical advice whenever I need it.  Yesterday I think I got the easiest and possibly largest raise I'd ever gotten in my history of employment. In passing I said to the doctor in charge of payroll, "Hey, do I really get a raise after 6 months?", which is apparently standard practice. He asked when that 6 month mark is. I told him when (April 5th) and he nodded and told me that beginning this pay period (the first after my anniversary) I'd be making an extra dollar an hour. I looked at him as if partly confused.

"What? I don't have to write an essay?" I asked. Now he was the confused one. I told him that at the Container Store you have to write short essays and fill out a five page booklet for your yearly review (if you're complacent enough to stay at a part time retail job that long) after which you discuss your inevitably too-poor performance and all of the areas you need to 'grow and challenge yourself' and the 'opportunities" you have. If you suck up and have no other life you may merit a 7-8% payraise. However you have to be TRULY exceptional to rate that. Most people fall within the 3-4% raise bracket, and I assure you 3-4% (and even 7-8%) of $10 an hour isn't enough to make the physical pain and emotional anguish of never being 'ON' enough for a part time job worth it. (Did I just disclose my starting salary at TCS. FOR SHAME! Doing such a thing was the one verboten thing in their culture [along with gum chewing, and saying or even thinking 'that is not my job'. Believe me, they know when you're thinking it. And you're wrong. It IS your job. Now get off the register and clean up the bathroom before tying that perfectly able-bodied woman's shoe in the gift packaging section])

Why did I stay at a job like that for years? See the previous brief mention about complacency and keep in mind that I have no real drive to do anything. So I was a perfect workhorse. Plus I have the protestant work ethic. I had to do something, I needed some money and I always think myself lucky to have any job. Also, reading over my 2006 performance review- damn, I could rephrase and reuse the accepted and desired terminology/vocabulary! It was money. It was a job. And somehow it was less soul-deadening than denying people health insurance (a previous gig for many years).

So anyway, the doctor looked at me and laughed. He said that no there was no essay portion of this conversation. There was no 'you should do x or y, or maybe x and y, and maybe we'll appreciate you more'. He looked at me, laughed about the idea of detailed essays regarding selling plastic boxes, and then said, "We're happy to have you.".  Fer reals.